"I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes I hope one more opens..."

It's December 12th and the last couple of days have been crazy. We had our Mock Grammies at CMC last Monday, classes Tuesday, Pack day Wednesday, and Last Supper Thursday. Then Friday my parents bravely drove 7 hours down to get me and then we drove 7 hours back to home sweet home. 

Let me tell you a bit about my last days at CMC. They were...fun, bittersweet, wonderful, unforgettable and just plain amazing. I will never be the same person. At last supper we enjoyed a wonderful meal with wonderful fellowship. I didn't want the night to end. We watched the ever so funny tour video :-) Which was put together by the lovely Lisa! Following that we had a very emotional sharing time. People were sharing from their hearts and it took a lot for me to keep from crying. Here were these amazing people I would be forced to say good bye to the next day. I spoke, even though I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. Once all the sharing was over I remember hugging Lisa and just crying. I am really not one to cry in public settings but I just didn't care. I tried to hug everyone before they left knowing I might not see them the next day. My heart really did feel like it was breaking that night. It's like I loved them all so much it hurt. I wouldn't replace that night for anything. 

What's going to happen now? Well I have made a vow to myself to keep in contact with my CMC family and to one day see them all again. I also am still a little cloudy on my future but I know that God will take care of that. I am still thinking about doing publishing and more than likely I will be moving after graduation, maybe to Nashville. 

I am very grateful to have this month of break to help me recoup and to catch up on things. I did miss home a lot and I can't wait to visit Bluffton to see everyone. I am also very excited to spend time with friends from home and family. I am looking forward to many fun days ahead. 

To God, thank you for everything You are and I love you so much!!!

To my family and friends that supported me I love you all so much and I am glad to be back! 

To my mentors, profs I love you all too and I am glad to have you in my life. 

To my special CMC family, I will always have a place in my heart for you. Know that I will never forget you and you've changed my life. I love you all.

Well this is it. I have enjoyed writing this blog throughout the semester and I hope that you have enjoyed reading :)

Even though I am home a little piece of my heart will always belong to Semester 19. 


<3 MusicMajor11 

 

"I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate..."

I seriously had the most amazing day yesterday, two words...Relient K. Well one word and a letter. They rocked my socks, I have always wanted to see them play. Alex, Amy, Christine, and myself rode together to see the show. Our friend Kevin and a buddy of his came as well. The concert was held at Rocktown, a really neat venue in Nashville. Two other bands also played before Relient K, they were Sherwood and Deas Vail. Both bands were really good, and I was so sad that I hadn't heard of them before. The concert had some Christmas music which was wonderful, I love Christmas songs. When Relient K came on I was so pumped. They are probably one of my very favorite bands of all time. One of my favorite songs they performed was Be My Escape. This was by far my favorite show I've ever been to! 

Tonight was our Christmas party which was a lot of fun. I had a really great time with all my friends. We sang a few Christmas carols and i could feel myself tearing up a bit. I just keep realizing how much I am going to miss all these wonderful people. Another thought that I had was about the way I've presented myself. My sincere hope is that I have presented myself well to my friends here. I hope that I have been an encouragement and a fun person to be around. 

I am excited to go home but at the same time I'm scared. Knowing that I'll never be with this group of people in this setting again really bums me out. Plus a lot of things are changing in my life. One of my best friends from home just got engaged, I am so happy for her. I am really interested to see what happens when I get home and how I react to all that has changed. Even though I was just home things change. 

I have done some more thinking about my future, still not completely sure of where I'm headed. But I do feel better about it, I feel like God is closer again. I think that I will get things figured out, God knows my heart and where I need to go. I am so glad I am not just aimlessly wondering around, He's got it all under control. I love Him for that as well as everything else. God is good no matter where I am and what I am doing. I love you God <3

<3 MusicMajor11

Relient K

Matt from Relient K!

Cutest member of Relient K ;-)

 

"Don’t you give up now The sun will soon be shining You gotta face the clouds To find the silver lining..."

We are starting work on our massive final exam...21 pages! I am kind of nervous about only because it is tailored specifically to our track. Plus the whole entire semester is covered. Oh.My. Goodness. But I know that we will get through it, some of the parts are quite introspective though. They ask about what we think our purpose is and what we want to do with our lives. It is something that I really do need to think about because I am very unsure of everything right now.

I am really not sure what to feel right now. I feel very lost, the path ahead is really hard to find. I feel as though I am standing in the forest kind of like Pocahontas does in her second movie. In the scene she has just ran away from John Smith and John Rolfe. As she runs into the forest she finds a place where there are several different paths. Eventually she says "listen to the spirit within" and leaves guide her to the path she needs to take. I am trying my very hardest to listen to the spirit within to figure out where I need to go and who I need to be. Graduating college is going to completely change everything in my life. The only thing that I have ever known has been school. Now I need to go out into the real world and get a job. But not just any job, a job that will make me happy and glorify God. 

This season of uncertainty I believe is truly testing my faith. It is happening for a reason and I know that God has a purpose in it. It truly is hard to find that purpose when everything around me is going so fast. I know for sure that I am definitely not going to give up no matter how long it takes. I am going to make the best of this situation :-) So here it goes, I am going to give it my all these last days here at CMC. 


<3 MusicMajor11